Last Day At Circle K!!!

First job I actually quit!! Put my two weeks in and I’m soo proud of myself.

Most times I just stop showing up haha…not funny. But πŸ˜† πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

I thought me leaving would be difficult, I also didn’t think I’d be so loved. Everyone was sad I was leaving. Even customers! So so sweet. I hugged people I never hugged before, even our garbage man wanted a hug goodbye. So cute. Called me his sister 😩😩😩

There’s nothing really left to say lol

Change is my friend. It’s time for new.

Be free.

My HairπŸ˜•

Hey y’all!

Soooo…I took a break from my natural hair. Like a year and a half break . I never used chemicals, but I kept it hidden.

Yes, I used to be #teamnatural

Lately I had been lazy. Lately meaning a whole year and half lol.

I kept it hidden so long that I almost fell back into the small box that so many people are still in.

Favoring the European look…

I even started wearing long horse-hair tracks again. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Sorry, that’s what I call them.

I bought a cheap phony-pony to wear. And it just WASNT WORKING FOR ME.

It was just ugly. Color didn’t match, I mean it just didn’t look nice. It looked as PHONY AS IT WAS. It only cost me $10.99. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ You get what you pay for most times, so whatever lol.

Anyway…I’m getting ready for work, running late like I always am. (Yay me) πŸ™ƒ I’m looking in the mirror like “this is ugly as hell!”

I tried it again. Hurting and forcing my hair to stretch in a ponytail that could never look better than how it looked.

I had to do what was best. I mean I couldn’t go outside with a damn raccoon on my head. I wet my hair, combed it through; with the wrong type of comb might I add…yikes! It was so painful.

And I left out the door.

With an Afro.

In 75 degree weather.

Taking public transportation.

I was so afraid. I kept thinking negatively, then positively over and over again.

Buuuut, the closer I got to the bus stop, the more confident I became. I held my head high! I was more bold. My posture changed. Along with my walk.

Man, I missed this!

I really did. It’s who I am! I looked younger. I got more attention. And I looooove attention! πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

So, I came home and I immediately conditioned my hair and twisted it for tomorrow. My twist out is gonna be so freakin fabulous!

I missed you so much, hair. I really did.

BLESSIIINNNGGSSS

Imagine me succeeding. Blessings coming from all directions. That is what I envision. This is what I feel is going to occur.

Victory is here. I must claim it. So should you. And in due time, we shall.

I got my second job! Put my two week notice in at my current job. So proud of myself because I was afraid of how my boss would react since she’s a friend.

Surprisingly, everything went well. She was supportive!

New job will be an overnight position and I’ll be all alone with WAY MORE time to write, which is one of my gifts, if I must say so myself. Hehe.

I mostly sit at the new job, so I have to make sure my chunky butt is working out when I’m off in the morning πŸ™ƒπŸ˜©. I got this goal I’m working toward and I have to lose 15 lbs. this month.

In other news, I’m tired asf! I’ve been working both jobs for the last week. I haven’t been able to make time to grocery shop or go to the laundromat.

Random: winning the lottery forced me to take the new job. πŸ˜‚

Oceanic

I feel like a big ass ocean with words and thoughts as waves. Except they never reach the shore.

No one knows the words and maybe I don’t know them either.

I ONLY want to do what makes me happy and what makes me feel GOOD.

The stress to be great, noticed, and different limits my creativity so much, which makes EVERYTHING WORSE FOR ME.

Praying for better. πŸ™πŸΎ

Back of the Bus and the Need for Rest

Why do I always go to the back of the bus?

Why am I comfortable here?

A lot of people are.

I think it may be because I’m alone and can observe everyone freely.

Anything but me being observed lol.

Well here I am again. In the back. Typing away. Being more consistent. You know, with my whole blogging thing.

Yesterday was a horrible day.

Thursday’s are for forgetting, and I surely forgot to refuse to have a bad day. I mean I tried.

It halfway worked. πŸ˜•

I realized it’s so important to rest, even when you’re not so sure you need to rest.

I came in from work and was left alone to babysit, I was hungry, realized there’s money missing out my checking account πŸ™„, sexually frustrated, and a bunch of other things. Ugh…

If I were mindful of my needs and the need to communicate with my sister, maybe I wouldn’t have had a mental breakdown and cried sitting on the toilet. I’m sure I wouldn’t have yelled at my little two year old nephew. (I’m sure a hyphen is supposed to go someplace there.)

Anywayyyyy… I wouldn’t have stayed in my work attire for 3 hours. I didn’t even sit down you guys. I’m just used to going, going, going.

Guess who made me feel better!

My nephew. Yeah, the one I yelled at…πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡ He’s an angel.

I took a shower, laid in bed, and took pics with him on Snapchat.

He loves the doggie filter.

I’m already having a better day today.

It’s really important to think ahead and prevent things from happening, if possible.

Friday’s are for getting things done. Complete what you haven’t. The weekend is here, folks. Enjoy πŸ˜‰

How do writers write everyday?

I guess they just start writing. Like I am now, as I’m on this RedLine train.

I have another job. Yay! I got fired in October…

I begged God for a break and prayed for a sign.

I felt stuck there. I loved the money and the weekly pay, but I wanted to work outside. I stated this everyday, and guess what?!

God gave me exactly what I asked for.

I mean I got fired from what I firmly believe was not at any fault of mine, but πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ.

My income was almost cut in half, but I’ve learned to budget even better.

From this experience I gained will power!

I realized my potential and how much money I wasted on a weekly basis.

I’ve also become more grounded.

I feel more connected to nature and I am ready to work harder than ever.

I’ve set clear goals. I’m ready to achieve all I want, and more!

By the way…Happy New Year!

In a MomentΒ 

Happy New Year!

I’m sure we all have a bunch of resolutions like EVERY year lol.

I hope this post touches and inspires some of you.

Alright!

Everything changes in a moment.

Take a moment to think about this.

One minute, you feel a certain way, and sure, things build up to bigger things. But in reality, everything changes in a SINGLE moment.

There is a tremendous amount of power in KNOWING this. Even more power in UTILIZING it. If we can harness our power and change things for ourselves, we could do so much more.

There is a decision that must be made every single day.

To change or stay the same.

β€œLife is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

-Lao Tzu

And so, we have to be open to change. Embrace it. We do want to grow right? We want better, right?

Will we evolve or remain complacent?

We can change so much in a single moment.

HOW MANY MOMENTS WILL WE LET PASS BY?

Will we let fear get the best of us? Will we allow it to eat away at present and future blessings?

Or will we stand up, rise to the occasion and embrace change.

Peace is attainable. Happiness is attainable.

We must change our mind.

The thoughts we constantly tell ourselves, create our reality.

Change your thoughts! You can do that in a single moment.

New year. New changes.

πŸ‘‹πŸΎ

Powerful Thinking, Powerful Thinking!

Hi, you guys!

Today I did something powerful. Remember me wanting to be a better woman? If you don’t remember, here you go.

Well, today I feel like I had a breakthrough, thanks to identifying my negative thought patterns. I mean I’m not acting like I’m healed, but I’m one step closer to figuring out this complex soul of mine.

My insecurities are my flaws. My insecurities are roots to my sadness.

If I learn to love myself unconditionally and genuinely, I believe I will be happier.

But everyone says that!! What does that meeaaan???? Here’s my opinion.

I need to experience life without being drawn to people because they make me feel less empty.

Or because they unknowingly play in my fantasy world I’ve created. In this world, I don’t have any of my “flaws.”

I’m not as sensitive, I’m not overweight, I’m more intelligent, I’m not as dark, I don’t live in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Chicago, I finished college… 😞

Blah blah blah.

I have been subconsciously looking for people to help mask the feelings of insecurity. And when they can’t?

Well, that’s another post.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. I’m committed to being better.