PenelopeWild

Hey everybody,

I created PenelopeWild almost eight years ago. Though it hasn’t taken off the way I would have hoped, and I haven’t worked as hard as I feel I could and should have, Penelope is me, and I am it. So yeah, Penelope ain’t going nowhere…no time soon. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Today begins the start of a new life for me and who ever else is along with me. I sat at home and cried even though there was nothing to cry about. The more I reflected, the more I realized that I wasn’t sad. I was stuck.

Stuck in patterns.

If Penelope is about evolving then it’s about time I change.

And so I am. Again.

This new life is all about starting over even when you feel as though you can’t.

Constantly being mindful.

Continuous evolving because that is the way of life. Of our lives.

Penelope.Wild.

The playful kid inside of you.

Gratefulness Check!

Every few days I find myself feeling ungrateful. Complaining, wishing things were better, etc.

I’ve come up with a few things that helps combat my ungrateful ness.

I ask myself a few questions.

Could your current problem be any worse?

What were you given before things got “bad”? What good thing happened recently?

Think of the random bad things that could happen to you…how would you feel?

I also reflect in these ways:

Listen to someone else vent and genuinely try to understand and sympathize and encourage them. This really helps. Take your mind off your problem for a moment and put your all into encouraging someone else. It has a boomerang effect.

I mentally separate my “good things” vs my “bad things”

I make a plan to combat or solve whatever has me feeling ungrateful, if I can’t think of a plan, I reach out to someone.

Last thing I do:

I remember the power of my mind. That this unfortunate thing that has me feeling this way is because of my choice of focus. I literally control my mood. I realize that I can change my focus, thus changing my mood.

Take a deep breath.

And another one.

You are stronger than your problems.

We will always have problems.

We will always be stronger than them too.

No Money, Mo Probelms

So much going on lately. I guess I saw it coming, and this is how I know that the Universe is teaching me a valuable lesson. I’m learning. Procrastination is a habit of the slothful. Perhaps the ones that are TOO hopeful. They somehow insist that they ALWAYS have time.

I’m praying hard for better days. When money will not be the source of my stress.

Hesitation Vs. Meditation

I began meditating in January of 2019. Thanks to my best friend, and this app that I always brag about: Eternal Sunshine

Unfortunately, I haven’t meditated in over two months. I’m sure I can blame my hesitation to meditate on all the events going on in my life, but I choose not to place blame today.

I just didn’t make enough time for self-care. It’s so easy to get caught up in the craziness of our lives.

As I was meditating this morning, I began to cry. I told myself, ” I am not my thoughts. I am not my body. I am not my emotions.” It felt so good to cry when no one was around. I just let everything out.

What’s beautiful about meditating is that it is communion with your soul. Not having that communion made me feel so alone and stressed.

I was constantly replaying negative situations and negative thoughts in my brain.

Everything felt out of order! No matter how much I cleaned, rearranged rooms in my apartment, etc.

By the way, I moved out my moms house finally! 😝😏

I’m shacking up! As my mommy would call it. 😂 But who cares about your labels????? I’m more free than I’ve ever been…

On the other hand, being away from my mom makes things tough. She moved to Texas three months ago. Sometimes we would meditate together… God, I miss her face. Thank God I get to hear her voice everyday.

Anyway guys…

My goal and hopefully your goal for this week, is to set intentions and follow through; To routinely let go of stressful thoughts, and therefore “resetting” our perspective as often as we can.

Last Day At Circle K!!!

First job I actually quit!! Put my two weeks in and I’m soo proud of myself.

Most times I just stop showing up haha…not funny. But 😆 🤷🏽‍♀️

I thought me leaving would be difficult, I also didn’t think I’d be so loved. Everyone was sad I was leaving. Even customers! So so sweet. I hugged people I never hugged before, even our garbage man wanted a hug goodbye. So cute. Called me his sister 😩😩😩

There’s nothing really left to say lol

Change is my friend. It’s time for new.

Be free.

My Hair😕

Hey y’all!

Soooo…I took a break from my natural hair. Like a year and a half break . I never used chemicals, but I kept it hidden.

Yes, I used to be #teamnatural

Lately I had been lazy. Lately meaning a whole year and half lol.

I kept it hidden so long that I almost fell back into the small box that so many people are still in.

Favoring the European look…

I even started wearing long horse-hair tracks again. 😂😂

Sorry, that’s what I call them.

I bought a cheap phony-pony to wear. And it just WASNT WORKING FOR ME.

It was just ugly. Color didn’t match, I mean it just didn’t look nice. It looked as PHONY AS IT WAS. It only cost me $10.99. 🤷🏽‍♀️ You get what you pay for most times, so whatever lol.

Anyway…I’m getting ready for work, running late like I always am. (Yay me) 🙃 I’m looking in the mirror like “this is ugly as hell!”

I tried it again. Hurting and forcing my hair to stretch in a ponytail that could never look better than how it looked.

I had to do what was best. I mean I couldn’t go outside with a damn raccoon on my head. I wet my hair, combed it through; with the wrong type of comb might I add…yikes! It was so painful.

And I left out the door.

With an Afro.

In 75 degree weather.

Taking public transportation.

I was so afraid. I kept thinking negatively, then positively over and over again.

Buuuut, the closer I got to the bus stop, the more confident I became. I held my head high! I was more bold. My posture changed. Along with my walk.

Man, I missed this!

I really did. It’s who I am! I looked younger. I got more attention. And I looooove attention! 🥰🥰

So, I came home and I immediately conditioned my hair and twisted it for tomorrow. My twist out is gonna be so freakin fabulous!

I missed you so much, hair. I really did.

BLESSIIINNNGGSSS

Imagine me succeeding. Blessings coming from all directions. That is what I envision. This is what I feel is going to occur.

Victory is here. I must claim it. So should you. And in due time, we shall.

I got my second job! Put my two week notice in at my current job. So proud of myself because I was afraid of how my boss would react since she’s a friend.

Surprisingly, everything went well. She was supportive!

New job will be an overnight position and I’ll be all alone with WAY MORE time to write, which is one of my gifts, if I must say so myself. Hehe.

I mostly sit at the new job, so I have to make sure my chunky butt is working out when I’m off in the morning 🙃😩. I got this goal I’m working toward and I have to lose 15 lbs. this month.

In other news, I’m tired asf! I’ve been working both jobs for the last week. I haven’t been able to make time to grocery shop or go to the laundromat.

Random: winning the lottery forced me to take the new job. 😂

Oceanic

I feel like a big ass ocean with words and thoughts as waves. Except they never reach the shore.

No one knows the words and maybe I don’t know them either.

I ONLY want to do what makes me happy and what makes me feel GOOD.

The stress to be great, noticed, and different limits my creativity so much, which makes EVERYTHING WORSE FOR ME.

Praying for better. 🙏🏾