Oceanic

I feel like a big ass ocean with words and thoughts as waves. Except they never reach the shore. No one knows the words and maybe I don’t know them either. I ONLY want to do what makes me happy and what makes me feel GOOD. The stress to be great, noticed, and different limits…

Time Changes Things

Time. Time is crucial. I’ve rushed so many things, becoming impatient because I just knew what I envisioned was the best way things could be. But that was not the case. When you don’t get what you want, be patient. There is a reason you don’t have it. It may not even be possible to…

Back of the Bus and the Need for Rest

Why do I always go to the back of the bus? Why am I comfortable here? A lot of people are. I think it may be because I’m alone and can observe everyone freely. Anything but me being observed lol. Well here I am again. In the back. Typing away. Being more consistent. You know,…

How do writers write everyday?

I guess they just start writing. Like I am now, as I’m on this RedLine train. I have another job. Yay! I got fired in October… I begged God for a break and prayed for a sign. I felt stuck there. I loved the money and the weekly pay, but I wanted to work outside….

In a Moment 

Change happens in a single moment. Let’s harness that power. 😎

Blue.

I used to hate the color blue. Made me uncomfortable and I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t feel it. Now it means more to me than a color. It’s a process. Sometimes a state of being. A feeling at times. It’s therapeutic. Calming. And I desire more. Every heart, every ocean, every word, everything. Goes…

Am I a Ruby?

I’m so fucking bored. Sometimes I just wanna jump in a lake… that’ll wake my ass up. I feel like I’m watching the same documentaries over and over, just to pass time. I feel like I drink, just to be in another reality. I smoke out of habit… What am I doing? I’m not completely…

Why Me

Abandoned. Unfinished. Tossed away. Like I’m nothing. Like I never mattered in the first place. Abandonment is a common feeling of mine. Probably the most felt negative emotion of mine. At the end of every relationship, I usually feel abandoned. I even sometimes feel abandoned by my friends. Which brings me to ask myself are…

Am I a Woman?

A woman is not a girl. A woman was a girl. There is a big difference and I have a better sense of that since I turned twenty-six years old yesterday. I’ve had a week long vacation. ( yassssss 😎) I made a commitment to be more free and open during my vacation. It worked!…

THOSE WHO ARE PERSISTENT.

Admittedly, I cannot remain steady in my ambition. I’m trying to beat this case of laziness that I’ve been fighting for, I don’t know, my whole life lol. What I’m sure it comes down to is balance, focus, and discipline. The question is “how do I maintain optimum levels of these things at least most…

Ugh!

I hate fucking up. I hate not being prepared. I hate being broke. I hate feeling irresponsible. I hate surprises. I hate that all this shit even matters to me. My brain is something I love and hate. 😫 I wish I could go inside my brain, take a huge eraser and just go away…

I’ve decided my posts will be accounts of my everyday living. Maybe that’ll help me become a better writer, you know, keep the thoughts flowing and the words coming. I judge my writing so harshly that at times I forget to enjoy what I’m doing. I always feel like I’m writing an essay that will…