Oceanic

I feel like a big ass ocean with words and thoughts as waves. Except they never reach the shore. No one knows the words and maybe I don’t know them either. I ONLY want to do what makes me happy and what makes me feel GOOD. The stress to be great, noticed, and different limits…

Back of the Bus and the Need for Rest

Why do I always go to the back of the bus? Why am I comfortable here? A lot of people are. I think it may be because I’m alone and can observe everyone freely. Anything but me being observed lol. Well here I am again. In the back. Typing away. Being more consistent. You know,…

How do writers write everyday?

I guess they just start writing. Like I am now, as I’m on this RedLine train. I have another job. Yay! I got fired in October… I begged God for a break and prayed for a sign. I felt stuck there. I loved the money and the weekly pay, but I wanted to work outside….

Blue.

I used to hate the color blue. Made me uncomfortable and I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t feel it. Now it means more to me than a color. It’s a process. Sometimes a state of being. A feeling at times. It’s therapeutic. Calming. And I desire more. Every heart, every ocean, every word, everything. Goes…

Am I a Ruby?

I’m so fucking bored. Sometimes I just wanna jump in a lake… that’ll wake my ass up. I feel like I’m watching the same documentaries over and over, just to pass time. I feel like I drink, just to be in another reality. I smoke out of habit… What am I doing? I’m not completely…

Why Me

Abandoned. Unfinished. Tossed away. Like I’m nothing. Like I never mattered in the first place. Abandonment is a common feeling of mine. Probably the most felt negative emotion of mine. At the end of every relationship, I usually feel abandoned. I even sometimes feel abandoned by my friends. Which brings me to ask myself are…

Ugh!

I hate fucking up. I hate not being prepared. I hate being broke. I hate feeling irresponsible. I hate surprises. I hate that all this shit even matters to me. My brain is something I love and hate. đŸ˜« I wish I could go inside my brain, take a huge eraser and just go away…

HEY BIGHEAD

It’s not always a good idea to reach out to people you love or miss. Each time you reach out, you take a chance. The person you miss may react negatively to you or you could be unintentionally hurting them with your selfish need to have them at the moment. If you really love them,…

This!

Perfectly describes how I’ve felt since the breakup with my ex. Tore my entire world apart. But, dammit…I’m better now! God & ManHe was a storm. That’s the best way to describe him. He came into your life with the gale force passion, your whole heart was his from the moment you two decided this…

BATTLE

Everyday I fight a battle. A battle I fight against myself. A battle With my mind. Because all I can think about is you. This battle again, with My body. Because all it wants, is you. A battle with my heart. Because the only one I love, IS YOU.

Dreams of Death 

I dreamt of death.  Now, I am afraid of death. For reasons we all are.  My dreams of death tell me that I don’t tell people what I should when they are alive. A characteristic of myself that shocks me.  Imagine loving.   Loving someone so deeply and truly that you are one. Where they…

Is It Really About The Journey?

They say it’s all about the journey.  The journey to where exactly?  Where am I headed? Is it all about the journey if you have no idea where you’re going?  Is there even a journey at all, when you have no idea where you’re going?  Today, I feel like the last few years of my…