Am I a Ruby?

I’m so fucking bored. Sometimes I just wanna jump in a lake… that’ll wake my ass up.

I feel like I’m watching the same documentaries over and over, just to pass time. I feel like I drink, just to be in another reality. I smoke out of habit…

What am I doing?

I’m not completely terrible. I work out, eat a rather healthy diet, meditate every other day, pray for my friends, but….

I feel so alone most nights.

And I feel this way ever since Marquis….

While I feel that I’m better now than I was then, I am still not satisfied with the woman I am.

I mean its great that I’m not dependent upon him like I was. I’ve learned to be comfortable being single. I don’t look to others for self-validation. All great things!

And yet, I’m me.

Doing ME things.

I see a pattern.

Why do I feel so alone?

I have a family.

Friends, too.

There are always men who want to get to know me.

I do not feel valued, though.

I feel like as though I am a ruby, unnoticed.

I guess I would feel better if I was forgotten, but I don’t even think I’ve been recognized.

So, am I really a ruby?

Am I as valuable and beautiful as I believe?

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