HEY BIGHEAD

It’s not always a good idea to reach out to people you love or miss. Each time you reach out, you take a chance. The person you miss may react negatively to you or you could be unintentionally hurting them with your selfish need to have them at the moment. If you really love them, you don’t want them hurt. This is why I’m typing this instead of texting you.

I miss you. 

The sparkle in your eye, your perfect teeth, your kisses, the passion that I could always feel when you looked at me. You were always so protective.

I’m so sorry that I only returned to your life with hurt to give you.

I really never wanted to hurt you. I tried to make it work this time, but some things just can’t be forced.

It seems like every time we encounter each other, it results in loss in some way.

We somehow grow closer and further apart at the same time. Working so hard to build something worth having, that we tear it down all at the simultaneously.

I regret reaching out to you because I was going through my own mess. 

I was too weak. I’m ashamed of myself. 

Even though you aren’t perfect yourself, I still love you.

Even though you never believe me.

I hope you continue to grow. 

I hope you meet an amazing woman who loves you like no one ever has. 

I pray you move out of your mom’s house soon.

The way she talks to you hurts me.

You’re already so bruised by your past. You deserve better.

I hope you somehow read this because there’s no way for me to tell you all this. 

I hope that one day, you happen to click the link to my website.

I hope one day you forgive me, because I know you hate me. 

I promise my intentions were always good. 

Even though that doesn’t matter. 

What matters is the aftermath. I know. I can never make up for that. 

Please remember that I’m growing too. That I am a mess too. That sometimes I make terrible decisions and do so, carelessly. 

I hope you think of me the same way I think of you.

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